Ghosts

The rumble from the storm, fear in my eyes, white as snow. The soft sigh you breathe, barely audible yet resonating through me. The fight about to begin, this time you’ll listen. I’m tearing you apart just to feel release, you’re sitting in silence. You don’t hear me. I’m screaming and fighting and crying and you just sit. The heat in my gut rising up to my throat, and now my eyes. My body shaking between sobs and you just sit. My heart screaming, wanting it to stop. Finally you break. You don’t want me anymore, I’ve done it now. I’ve made it to where you cannot stand to look at me. To think about me. To love me any longer. 

I’ve thought about that moment a great deal in my life. Of how much I regret losing you and how much it hurts that even now, you look at me with a sadness in your brown eyes. I did love you once, and you me. You knew how to make me laugh and smile and you knew the right words to say when I was losing it. Then it all stopped. You were gone. You didn’t want me. I broke our ties so severely that even those eyes held nothing but pity for me. That’s all that was left. Pure unsolicited pain and pity. Yet even now I can’t help but to love you as I’ve always have. And always will.