Contemplation

Our fates intertwine like the roots of trees

Crossing each other's paths for only a moment 

Our heartbeats grow rapid as time passes on

Have we lived our lives to the fullest?

The stars above are merely an illusion

An imprint in time that has long passed

Is that what humanity will become?

Merely an imprint of something once thriving

Simply a memory of future's past

Will we be our own undoing? 

Emotions

I push and scream and cry.

Will you leave?

It's all a test to see if you'll tire of me.

I'm hard to live with and hard to love,

I make you feel as if everything's your fault. 

I've gotten so angry and sad from being let down,

I assume one day you'll just walk out.

Fed up and pissed with the girl you love.

Until one day you'll realize that you're done.

Done with trying to make me happy. 

Done with being there when I fall.

Done with me, with us, with it all. 

I'm sorry I'm this way, you deserve so much better.

Honestly I love you more than any other.

Can you forgive me again, please, just one more time?

I'm sorry I did this, I'm sorry I lied.

I'll understand if you want to leave,

I'll understand that you tried,

To love a girl who's cold, who's broken and can't be revived. 

Kiss

Your kiss takes the very best of me

If I could I'd linger in your arms forever

The love that pours from such a simple gesture

Makes me believe 

Mine

The love you give me is worth everything.

I'd give up my life just as long as you stay.

Your beauty blows my mind and my heart away.

Because daughter, you're mine and I am yours. 

Always. 

Finished

The words that you speak to me tonight will remain forever and always. This dark strange poison, that you send creeping every time you stop to think of me cuts so very deep. The truths that ebb and flow with time cannot be repeated for the dark fate we live makes it so. The past will stay and the future is unknown, so look towards the future and forget the past because today is new and yesterday is gone.

Leave. Just leave. Leave it all behind, for the torture you make us endure contemplating what cannot be is neither constructive nor uplifting. The memories you persistently tell me of torture me,  and there is nothing I can do except wait for the pain to ease. That is not love. That is not love. Love is uplifting and kind, it never varies and never leaves. It never forces and will not torment. It is beautiful and warm, consistent and true.

And yes, there was a time when I loved you. But time is a funny thing. Time flows without thought and without emotion, without a glance to the past.  We as humans are the ones that make time worth our lives and we as humans are the ones who lets it pass us by. I gave you my heart and my soul once upon a time. You were just in another place once upon a time. Now we have to live and breath and kiss and love not one another but two others. Two people that are willing to give their hearts and souls. Two people that will love tried and true. Two people that no matter the pain we cause from reminiscing of the time we had together will remain because love is a choice and they chose us. Time is short but love is forever when it truly means something. Something that apparently I didn't mean to you once upon a time.

The memories of holding eachother and kissing eachother and me loving you do not outweigh nor erase the memories and the feelings of the pain I felt. The tears I cried. The hours I spent wondering what I did wrong. The days of believing I wasn't good enough. The years of wondering if you truly ever loved me the way you said you did. The trust I gave broken into pieces. The love I gave you thrown back into my face. The pain I am blamed for because all I wanted was to love you. The fact that you left me for another and still do. The memory of everything going so well then, one day, it all just ended.

Now that I am trying to live my time with someone who loves me, you return with words of love and apology, and nostalgia. Yet, you never changed. You will forever choose another before me. Yourself.

Stars

Tell me you love me, whisper you miss me. Bring to me feelings of wonderful memories.  You don't deserve me and I don't deserve you. The pain that we feel is what is true. I can't replace you and I can't forgive you so now there is nothing that I can do. Nothing but wait for the pain to subside and nothing but wait to accept you're not mine. I hate that I love you but I love that you're there. No matter what I do I know you still care. Every time I see you my heart is on fire but every time I see you I can't help but feel like a liar. So what can I do now what can I say? Other than I love you and I must go away. Because a love like ours will never fade, but I've made my choice and with that I will stay.

Safe

Tears run down her face as the monster enters the room. Slowly taking what innocence she has. Every time she tries to scream the creature keeps her silent. All she wants is for it to end. When will it stop? It seems to never stop. Where can she run? There is no where she can run. She closes her eyes, the pain will be over soon. Escapes into her mind, the fear will subside. She thinks of a time where she felt safe and sound. The monster leaves and she's left alone with the thoughts of going home. She doesn't want to exist anymore. The pain so great that she thinks of ending it all. Just to feel relief from what she's had to endure. When will it stop? It seems to never stop. Where can she run? There is no where she can run. She closes her eyes, the pain will be over soon. Escapes into her mind, the fear will subside. She thinks of a time where she felt safe and sound.

Game

This world of ours is only in our minds. A projection of what we wish it to be. The feelings are true but reality is a lie. In order to live we must beat the game. The game that tests our grasp to what is real and what is not. The game that tests our strengths and our weaknesses. The game that will consume us or set us free. This life is only a game that one day ends. Will you play it with me?

Space

We stayed out all night and watched the stars and talked about the universe. About how small we really are but how extensive our minds can be. It's amazing to know that in this life people can come together and know that no matter what happens there is something bigger out there for us. Who knows the places we will go but as long as we have each other it doesn't matter. We live under the same sky and in our hearts we'll always be. We will find each other again one day, even if that's after we perish. Death only parts us for a short time and I will wait for you to find me again. Until the end of time.

Always

The way your eyes look at me is one of ultimate desire and the way your hand grazes mine ever so slightly takes the breath right out of me. The thought of your laugh will always lift me up and the thought of your tears will always shatter my world. I will always be here. Why? I will always be here because I promised you I would be. The battle for our lives takes it's toll and the promise of our future makes every wound worth it. No matter where we are in the world I will forever be waiting for you to come back to me. You are my hero and I, your heroine. Our lives are intertwined by the hopes that one day we'll see eachother again. Our hearts are as one being, and our spirits are free. Our lives may be lived as two but we will forever be as one.

Lament

Everything around me is closing in. All the things promised now forgotten. When will normalcy return? Everything around me is closing in. Darkness is too sweet to swallow. I never knew it would end like this. Everything around me is closing in. Black tears roll down my face into oblivion. Is my only release through death? Everything around me is closing in. I don’t feel like myself anymore. The pain is just too much to bear. Everything around me is closing in. Alas, a light. What secrets does it hold? Everything around me is closing in. It whispers sweet sorrows into my ear. What do they mean? Everything around me is closing in. It’s warmth says I’m no longer numb. It’s heart says that someone cares. It’s love says that I’m alive. Everything around me is breaking out. Where do I go from here? I have no idea. But I’m free.

Time

In this empty room there are only memories of the times we had once a long time ago. The silence speaks only the truth and it kills me to listen. I can’t help but to miss the first time we kissed. I hate myself for what I did to you but I hate you more for leaving. If I could take it all back, I wouldn’t. This wasn’t meant to be. Look past all the bad and run toward the good because that’s where I’ll be. Without you here I have to stand on my own.

Dark

And I slipped back into the depths of hell to try to forget the blight in and around my life. But the devil never lets you rest, he is a constant reminder of things that were and are to come, for he is wicked with his intent and only desires to see you burn.

Heart

Your warm breath against my neck sends a shock down my spine. The feeling of anticipation quakes throughout my soul. The lies on your lips make me hunger for you even more. The truths of your deceit linger in your eyes. This ache in my heart will never stop until it’s last beat. Because you, my dear, are my perfect disease.

Battle

I keep beating my head against this wall, trying to figure out what I keep doing wrong. If nothing I do is right, how am I supposed to sleep at night? I can’t keep crumbling under the weight. I’m just so alone right now.

Tears

My lips yearn for yours, quiet tears roll down my cheeks. The thought of you without me kills everything I dream of. The dark veil of night covers my soul and there I stand alone.

You

Your touch is electric. Your love is eccentric. Your kiss is exotic. And your dreams are erotic. I love you more than you know.

Breath

Breathe into me, I’m gasping for air. Silently screaming, can’t get away from this. Heart aching inside, time ticking away. Where are you?

Notes

Sing to me songs of love and beauty. Life is so hard I can’t pretend without the notes of your soul telling me lies over and over again. You’re like a runaway train without any brakes crashing into me. The truth cuts so hard all there is left to do is bleed. Now there’s nothing in my heart but the words you once said. I’m leaving you forever because to me you’re dead.

Chaos

I can’t escape the constant chaos within my mind. The waves of happiness then anger then sadness is driving me to madness. I’m drowning from a riptide of depression. I try to follow the current but I fail. I can see the sun but the darkness is engulfing me. The sweet whisper of silence is so tempting. All I want to do is sleep.